Mommy Guilt
Does anyone ELSE have this? I have a ridiculous amount of Mommy Guilt.
Today I changed service providers for our kids’ TSS. We just changed TSS because of an incident, but the real program is that the program is in the next county and it’s nearly impossible to get our kids to an eval every 4 months without taking costly time off. Still, I feel guilty changing…
The local charter school just got approved, so I’m registering Amelia there. She’s not a shoo-in. If too many seats fill, which is likely, there’s a lottery, so I’ll have to also proceed looking at her local public school, which also doesn’t look bad. It’s silly to feel bad because school’s are loaded in my area. Still, I feel guilty applying…
Something else recently happened, that I won’t discuss, that I had to change another provider for my kids, which turned out to be a wise and wonderful decision, but for a little while I felt guilty…
I know it’s ridiculous, because all these things are being done with our kids’ best interests in mind, but in addition to all the mommy guilt for everything else (like being human on occasion), it’s too much to bear stupid guilt. So I’m done. No more guilt.
Not only that, but sometimes Fate steps in when changes are required. Last year we had all those issues with our daycare provider, and kept them (when we shouldn’t have). Then Chris got laid off and it was a moot point because it was no longer in our budget at all.
On the other hand, I can relieve some by showing my appreciation for those who’ve done a good job. Amelia’s teacher has been outstanding this year, and Zoe’s staff has pulled through really well, especially when her schedule at preschool increased by a day. So no guilt but just plain gratitude for people who care about my kids and do their jobs really well.
Share your mommy guilt stories, AND your appreciation for the people who care for your kids.
I love my daughter’s daycare. It is an in-home daycare and they take such good care of her. I know they truly adore her and miss her on the days she doesn’t go. She currently goes 3 days a week. I feel so lucky to have found this daycare! It makes me feel so much better about leaving her!
Devon’s last blog post..Trip to the East Coast, Part 3…
Devon, that’s wonderful to hear! You are blessed to have found one. I know there are good ones out there, but it’s so difficult, especially in my area where the waiting lists are months and months long.
We had a sitter this year who was wonderful. She had run a daycare from her home, but her family moved out of the home. So she worked for us, but our fee was not enough to cover her rent. I know there is a good provider out there, just need patience, and some Divine providence.
I think that being grateful for the little things is a great way to lift your spirits! When you think about it, moms have so much to do, and are so busy, that it’s easy to focus upon the negative things that are happening. If you remember to think about all of the little things that you and other people did “right” on a daily basis, it’s a pretty amazing thing!
When I’m really feeling guilty or down, I either listen to music (like “Pocketful of Sunshine,” by Natasha Bedingfield, for example), or I try to go out for a breath of fresh air. Music and nature help to put things into perspective!
Dawn @Moms Inspire Learning’s last blog post..Literacy Lava Newsletter is Coming Soon!
Those are great tips, Dawn! I try to do the same. Not always easy, sometimes you just need to “pretend” you’re going to the bathroom and take a 5 minute break with a good book!!
Gratitude heals a LOT of pain, that much is true.
Do you feel guilty because your work schedule limits your availability to your kids? Do you spoil them to try to compensate for time you’re not able to spend with your children? Do you take them on expensive vacations or supply them with the newest gadgets to try to distract them from your absence? Do you pay for extracurricular activities that you wouldn’t normally because it will give them something to do while you’re not there?
If this sounds like your situation and you have a question for Dr. Phil – please email you’re questions to at Bryan.valderrama@cbsparamount.com along with recent photos of yourself & your family . Thanks for writing Dr. Phil and thank you in advance for your response, we look forward to hearing from you!