7 Years Ago Today (a Loveletter to my Daughter)…

7 years ago today, I sat anxiously in a wheelchair outside NICU, waiting to hold you since you were fine, and Chris gained his first daddy stripes by demanding you be released.

7 years ago today, I finally got you back in my arms.  You were so small but you were strong and beautiful, and I thought my heart would break in a million pieces from the love in it.

7 years ago today, I swallowed the fear that I held in my heart when the doctors talked about chromosones and karotypes, even though I knew deep down what I’d confirm a few weeks later: that my precious, meant-to-be girl had Down syndrome.

7 years ago today, a woman pediatrician told me that I looked like a natural born mom, sitting there with you, more than anyone she had noticed in a long time, and I beamed that at my advanced age, it could come so naturally.

7 years ago today, I lay with you in my arms, and dreamt of your first day of school, your wedding, your career; I dreamed of us sharing coffee and stories in the morning, and wine and stories after college.

7 years ago today, I fell in love with you, Daughter, as you lay, healthy and whole, in my arms and I’d never be the same again.

7 years ago today, my life as a mommy started and I have you to thank for it.

Happy Birthday, my sweet pea!