• Zoe taught her 4 year old self to swim in the 8 foot section
• Amelia forgot she was potty trained. On multiple occasions.
• A colleague flayed me alive for no good reason
• Some neat, new alliances were made
• Pre-planning for the start of school (9/7) and preschool (9/13) is swamped, late, but still going well
• My broken toe felt better. Then it didn’t. Then it did, then it felt like someone sliced it off, and then it got numb, then it felt better. Sigh…

Things I’ve learned that I will apply next summer:

• The kids are going to camp, if we have to rob banks to find the money, if they have to go to special needs camp, whatever
• The kids will be going to the local pool as many weekdays as we can get them there (they sleep like babies after a 5-7pm dip)
• I will buy multiple bathing suits that fit my flat butt
• I will tan my legs, even if I have to buy the lotion stuff (skin cancer, ya know?)

Ok, let’s do this, bring on the fall!

Image: Simon Howden / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

That’s what I’m talkin’ about!

What lessons have you learned from your kids or about yourself and your family over this long, long summer?

Made with Oreos, MMMM....

I went to Weis and was thrilled to discover an as-yet unknown to me flavor: Cookies & Cream Bars.  WITH Oreo cookies, the granddaddy of all cookies!  I could barely wait to get home to try them, so I took my Mommy Privilege and ate my bar while cooking dinner.  The kids were frantic, but I stuck to my guns: they had to wait to finish their meals first.

This was so good!  It is exactly the ice cream version of an Oreo cookie.  And the girls?  I unwrapped their bars, and they stood motionless AND quiet for a good 5 minutes while they consumed their ice cream.  There were 5 of us and 6 bars…and I’m still wondering who got the last one.  (I’m thinking it was my husband, who is a huge fan of the Oreo!)

Good Humor Sweepstakes
If you’re a fan, start buying because from now through September 6th, Good Humor is running a sweepstakes.  They are giving away 10,000 prizes, with a grand prize of $10,000!  Check your package to see if you are an “instant winner” and visit Good Humor’s Sweepstakes site, to redeem your prize and earn extra chances to win!

Happy 90th Birthday, Good Humor! Thanks for making my school commute tasty!

This post is sponsored by Good Humor. Check them out on Facebook.

I’ll be honest, I am so NOT feeling fabulous today, and it’s not just my broken toe.  One of those weeks, particularly at work, which is usually easy-going (aka boring), but I don’t want to dwell on bad incidents only on the fact that I Handled Them.

Maybe it’s the end-of-summer “I feel yucky, bring on the cool weather” feeling, or the fact that I am on the only woman in the whole of the US, I’m sure, to actually put ON weight at the start of summer AND  raise my cholesterol.  “Fabulous” is a lovely adjective that cannot apply to me.  Right?

I have, in my hand, right now, a copy of “Operation Beautiful”. The premise for this lovely little book was started by Caitlin Boyle, who decided to take the pain in her history of questing for beauty (don’t we woman all have that!) and do something positive.  She posted a Post-It note on a mirror in a public restroom that said, “You are beautiful!” and then blogged about it.

I don’t have to tell you what happened then, do I? She started a movement.  “Operation Beautiful” is her blog, and it’s also the title of her new book.  It is a collection of stories of women who have been encouraged by the post-its and other notes they have found, and photos of the notes themselves.  JUST reading those notes is giving me strength today.

Am I fabulous?  YES, I am.  I  am not perfect, but then again, who is?  I’m reading through this book and it’s making me think of you, and the 100’s, 1000’s, millions of sister I have out there who need the encouragement.

Here it is!

If you are feeling down in the dumps, I highly recommend this book!!  It’s broken into chapters as well (“Fat Talk” section, I hear you calling!), so you can call up the encouragement you need right on time.

In the meanwhile, while you are out school shopping or just doing your weekly routine, grab some Post-It’s and start putting up some words of encouragement on bathrooms around America (or the world!).  Then take a snapshot and share it on Operation Beautiful.  Or, if you find a note somewhere, shoot it and share how it made you feel.

Signed,

Empowered, encouraged, and fabulous,
ginabad

Image: m_bartosch / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It was “one of those days”. The sun refused to shine, and maybe I had not had enough sleep or allergies kicked in or whatever, but I woke up down and out.  I rarely do depression anymore, so it was hard to sit at work so off-kilter. We still have more than a week for school left for both kids, but they are DONE with being couped up. (Yea so am I!)

Work was hard, freelancing was hard, but I managed those, and then I got out of work and put Zoe, who may have an urinary tract infection, in the tub. (No car, no doctor, c’est la vie.)   She had a blast and I let Amelia mind turn to mush with TV.  We’re in the home stretch of summer, good luck getting work done!

I’m relaxing, still down, and for NO REASON that I can see, Zoe lets loose with a 45 minute tantrum- a real doozy, headbanger type of deal.  I did my level best to do everything I could to calm her, to no avail.  At the end of this, she was doing a “I’m ok, but can scream when I like!” deal, and I was reduced to a mass of jello sitting on the floor crying my ass off with “why me?”, “I’m being punished”, and “I’m to blame for her autism”.

Well, so much for spiritual optimism and my hope’s in God.  I sat there, and I KNEW this was a “what about me?” moment.  Ok, who’m I kidding? It was a “what about me” hour night!

Today I turned on Joyce Meyer and got an earful of how we choose our feelings and don’t give into the negative thoughts or lies from the dark side.  (Surely, “I gave my daughter autism” is a lie, right?  And, “Her condition is my punishment for something” is actually hubris, isn’t it?)

So, no sympathy for me, just an epic, painful fail of a night. I’m not bitter today; it happened. It will, I guess, from time to time, but it’s made me think: Do I really still consider this a punishment for something in my life?  Not on the surface, and not even below the surface, but way, deep down in my heart, do I feel like the cause of my kids’ disabilities?  Maybe I do.

As I plod this course of deep – DEEP self-improvement, the inner me might get a little scary.  How hard do we, any of us, look at what’s really beneath the surface?  And what do we do with the ugly when we find it?

Image: br3akthru / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This is an issue I come to over and over.  I’ve always had something of a split focus, figuring out where I live professionally, and how to balance that as a writer.

However, 7.75 years in, I realize now that I have another split: parenting.  Today, for example, was filled with taking the girls to their evaluation for therapeutic services, which was preceded by a flurry of phone calls, questions, and general information sharing and followed by a stack of paperwork to sign.  Schools starts in 2 weeks for Amelia and 3 weeks for Zoe and decisions still need to be made – some that we just found out about today.  Zoe also needs to go to speech therapy, I’ve been on the waiting list since January or so, and just landed a spot for her so that’s on the to do list as well. AND I’d love to sign the kids up for soccer, so there’s that. Geez, I’m tired just reading this.

I’ll be thrilled when it’s September 15th.

Anyway, there don’t seem to be enough hours in a day EVEN if I completely coordinate them just so, and let God lead, and do the right thing. Really, because life happens – like a dishwasher broken by hard water – so we have to get a water softener and a dishwasher.  THAT means at least a half an hour of dish washing a day.  Ugh.

This is to say that I’d really like to write and do some design, and still get in my paying work (that last one is a joke,  paying work is just fine).  It’s the stuff I’d really enjoy that I don’t get to do much of.  Surely there’s a solution for this??

I’m thinking I have another candidate for my “F” word series: “focus”!

So, do you have time to focus on things you like to do, or make a living doing what you love?  Or is focus a battle for you too? Share your stories.

Before I get started though, I thought I’d take this First Friday to review some foundational things, like why I’m really doing this, and the Really Big F Word in my life.

Image: Stefano Valle / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Starting out, just know that I love my blog.  It’s gotten me through some exceptionally difficult times and it’s allowed me to make friends that I don’t know how I’d manage without.  It’s a pleasure whenever I fire up Wordpress, because it’s the only time I can write, straight from the heart, mostly uncensored (I’m pretty family-friendly here), reach out to you.

I’m at this point in my life, I think I mentioned before, where God is pushing me into the deep end. I don’t just want to go deep spiritually or professionally. I want to create a new me, one that is in sync with what I was meant to be, and I want to help you get to the place you need to be, too.

We all know motherhood is hard, and special needs mothering is really hard, and being a working mom or a volunteer mom is hard…anything that adds on another hat onto the ridiculously important task of raising a decent human. But we women are experts at multitasking and, like that video I shared on Facebook this week, we put ourselves last.

Part of this is about accountability. I’d really like for us to journey together to get out of the mommy-slump – that feeling of being overwhelmed, tired, and “haven’t gotten a manicure in forever”.  When we get up and and work on ourselves, we give our child the gift of finding value in themselves on their own and teach them that Mommy is a person too.

And that brings me to the last “F” word for today: Faith.  I am now completely convinced not only of my faith as a Christian, but that what God wants for us is wonderful things.  I believe that He wants us to be the fabulous, foxy, fearless creatures he made women to be.  That is the real foundation of my F-word Series.  I’m convinced (convicted?) that “shlumpy” is not a word in God’s vocabulary and  that overwhelm is a disease we’ve created for ourselves, but that we moms are meant to believe that we are  just as fabulous as we already think our kiddoes are.

Challenge: I invite you to share this journey with me, and share your own journey in the comments from schlumpy to fabulous, if that’s where you are at.  Been there, done that? Share tips for the rest of us! I’m talking mostly about internal things, but I’ll also be talking about food, affordable clothing, and just enough glamor to keep up with that scary f-word, foxy.

PS, this isn’t easy for me, by the way. I work from home and mani-pedi’s cost a fortune out here, but I am determined. Last weekend, I broke my toe, so a trip to Kohl’s was out of the question. I still managed to look fabulous for my anniversary – comfy Teva’s and crappy wardrobe notwithstanding!

faith hope love

Thank you to everyone who shared!  I personally want you to know that your stories encouraged and uplifted me, moved me and made me cry.  It’s amazing how much God has done in our lives, and thank YOU all for the courage to share here.

The winner is Leanne.  Leanne, you’ve gotten an email from me about what we need to send you your prize.

Today’s giveaway is for all you jewelry lovers (like me!) This gorgeous “Faith Hope Love Ring” can be yours if you are the random winner selected from this week’s contest. It comes with a free personalization of up to 25 characters and is available in ring sizes 5-12. Cornerstone Jewelry Designs carries a large selection of purity rings as well as personalized and Christian jewelry. Nice stuff, check it out.

Giveaway Rules
Now it’s your turn.  Grab a  chance to win this ring for yourself!  To enter, please post a few sentences in the comments telling us about something that’s happened that faith or hope or love helped you get through.  This is mandatory.  Be sure to include a valid email address.

Additional Entries
You can get one additional entry each by:

1. blogging about the giveaway
2. tweeting about it
3. sharing it on Facebook

Be sure to comment below as well with each of your  additional entries and related links.

Deadline
This contest will run through 1:00 PM, EST, on Friday, August 27, 2010, so be sure to get your submission in beforehand and good luck!

Winner
On or within a few days of 8/27, I will select a winner at random.  Entries will be entered in order and a number will be selected at Randomizer.org. I will then contact the winner and arrange for Cornerstone to send the ring and personalized message to be shipped to the winner’s address.  No addresses will be stored or used for any other purpose.

Good luck!!

This giveaway is sponsored by Cornerstone Jewelry Designs.

Note: I approve all comments, but your entry is still received in order of the time you posted it. Thanks!

I repeat:  SHE DID NOT NEED A SWIMMER!!

It was then that I realized Amelia is potty trained.  Well, mostly.  She still sneaks on pullups when she needs to poop, or saves it up for her nighttime pullup, BUT she often does it just right. And if there is a poop, we go through the motions.  No more poop duty for this one for me.  I’m pretty proud of her, but I’m also proud of us, Mom and Dad, who survived this period.  I’m feeling pretty confident that after school starts in a few weeks, this skill will be mastered.

Here are my tips, and keep in mind, I sucked at this, but I still trained my child!

• Patience: OK, kids with learning disabilities may have more difficulty.  Consult your pediatrician and special needs experts about what to expect.  Don’t freak out if your kid is not meeting what all your friends with typical kids are doing.  And please, chuck the books if they’re not helping. (Training in a day, my butt!)
• Don’t sweat it so much. Look, nobody likes dealing with poop but don’t let selfishness over-motivate you.  If you need to get used to it, get a dog or cat and get used to dealing with poop. (That was a joke.) (Mostly.)
• Accidents happen, and that’s ok. (Yea, quoting Elmo, sue me.) Unpleasant and painful, but O.K.  Buy cheap undies if you must.
• Rewards work – to a point. I mean, there’s only so many times we could give the kid ice cream, KWIM?  On the other hand, more ice cream might have made more poop. HMMM….
• Move forward.  Yes, we put the potty in the garage – which Amelia was using entirely too much, in private, in her play room, door shut.  Girlfriend, the bathroom has a door AND a lock!
• Find your own way. I made probably every mistake you could possibly make and somehow the kid is mostly trained, and, to my surprise, Zoe is starting to pee in the toilet too – especially at school. All we did with her was play Elmo’s Potty Time over and over AND over, to the point where I’m quoting lyrics in my post…

In the final analysis, it happens when it happens.  This is a control issue, but the more your child matures, and the more you guide them on a right road (trying as best I can), it’ll happen.

Probably…

No wonder we women can't wait for our wedding day!

On August, 22^nd at my awesome church we are having “baby dedication Sunday”, which is for kids age 12 and under.  We did a dedication of my two girls at my former (and also beloved) church.  It’s essentially a brief ritual by which you and the church as whole agree to raise these children in true Christianity. I’m not sure why I did it, I really wasn’t at all on board with the faith at that time.

I had a relative who did a Baptism and Christening of their adopted children in the Catholic church.  That’s the first time I ever learned they were two different things, despite 12 years of Catholic school!  The upside to that is that in such an event you know you’re required to bring baptism and/or christening gifts.  With a dedication, no one quite knows what to do but we were really blessed that family and friends came and showed their love.

Unlike my Catholic upbringing, in the Christian faiths I’ve attended, baptism is a serious and thoughtful commitment that really requires maturity.  I’ve feared sharing my faith with my kids, because my questioning stage was LONG.   I think most of us never really complete that phase but I’m at a point where I can stop the questions long enough to move from “learning” to “doing”.  Amelia knows the “Our Father” and is learning to pray and I pray with Zoe.  Started reading Psalm 16 aloud every morning too.  But a rededication?  I don’t think so for now.

How do you share your faith with your kids, especially if your spouse is not on board?  Ideas? Share there here!

This post is sponsored by Molly Brown, London.

Image: Now & Zen Photography / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Frankly, what I’m in now is a crucible stage. I mentioned before how hard things are, but I’m learning that most of this is about control and how little we have compared to how much we THINK we have.  A lot of us know we can’t control certain things: how long it takes to board our plane, what the driver in front of us will do, what careers our kids choose.  But there are so many other things we can’t control, either: when someone we love can’t see the solution to an issue when it’s so clear to us, when our child has to learn & relearn a lesson so often before it clicks, what will people think of you…I could go on and on.

In fact, I’d venture to say that there’s almost nothing we can control, except our thoughts and actions in any given moment.

This weekend, I suffered a stupendous, middle of the night fall, cracking my skull open on the floor.  I waited to go to the doctor, then waited on CAT scan results, prepared to meet my Maker.  (I had a stroke in ‘99, so it’s not safe.)  It turned out all was well, but I was at peace with any result personally.  Life is life, eh?  And this physical one isn’t eternal (no matter how much we adore vampires…)

That said, I’ve come to the realization that I don’t have to be overweight with flabby arms, or be a screaming harpy in front of  my kids, or debate my husband.  I don’t have to fall on my sword of “Oh my God! I’m a special needs parent!” or my age or my dissatisfaction with anything in life that I’m…dissatisfied with.  (Nor am I upset that I ended that  sentence with a preposition.)

With that said, Mom-Blog is starting a new adventure.  Redesign will be on hold for a little while but I’ve already conceptualized a tiny (and way cool) bit of my redesign. I’ve already begun losing my fear and owning my foxiness, such as it is.  As I look at the big 4-5 coming in a few months, I realize that I’m exactly where I need to be, picking up speed on my marvelous journey. I’m not going to wait for that to begin this journey. As of today I will embrace capriciousness, live to the fullest, and diary my journey, from frustrated, fatigued, and fed up to fearless, foxy, and fabulous.  In other words, how to find groovy, affordable ways get from this:

Image: ahmet guler / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

to this:

Image: djcodrin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

And I’m taking you with me! Ready? Set! GO!!