Helluva Week…

Way to go summer!  It’s only Wednesday night and thus far this week:

• Zoe taught her 4 year old self to swim in the 8 foot section
• Amelia forgot she was potty trained. On multiple occasions.
• A colleague flayed me alive for no good reason
• Some neat, new alliances were made
• Pre-planning for the start of school (9/7) and preschool (9/13) is swamped, late, but still going well
• My broken toe felt better. Then it didn’t. Then it did, then it felt like someone sliced it off, and then it got numb, then it felt better. Sigh…

Things I’ve learned that I will apply next summer:

• The kids are going to camp, if we have to rob banks to find the money, if they have to go to special needs camp, whatever
• The kids will be going to the local pool as many weekdays as we can get them there (they sleep like babies after a 5-7pm dip)
• I will buy multiple bathing suits that fit my flat butt
• I will tan my legs, even if I have to buy the lotion stuff (skin cancer, ya know?)

Ok, let’s do this, bring on the fall!

That’s what I’m talkin’ about!

What lessons have you learned from your kids or about yourself and your family over this long, long summer?

Product Review: Good Humor Ice Cream & Sweepstakes

When I think of Good Humor ice cream, I have pleasant memories of my childhood and stopping by the local bodega on a hot back-to-school day to grab a Chocolate Eclair while waiting for the bus.  Or maybe a Strawberry Shortcake. So I was excited to get a chance to review this product.

I went to Weis and was thrilled to discover an as-yet unknown to me flavor: Cookies & Cream Bars.  WITH Oreo cookies, the granddaddy of all cookies!  I could barely wait to get home to try them, so I took my Mommy Privilege and ate my bar while cooking dinner.  The kids were frantic, but I stuck to my guns: they had to wait to finish their meals first.

This was so good!  It is exactly the ice cream version of an Oreo cookie.  And the girls?  I unwrapped their bars, and they stood motionless AND quiet for a good 5 minutes while they consumed their ice cream.  There were 5 of us and 6 bars…and I’m still wondering who got the last one.  (I’m thinking it was my husband, who is a huge fan of the Oreo!)

Good Humor Sweepstakes
If you’re a fan, start buying because from now through September 6th, Good Humor is running a sweepstakes.  They are giving away 10,000 prizes, with a grand prize of $10,000!  Check your package to see if you are an “instant winner” and visit Good Humor’s Sweepstakes site, to redeem your prize and earn extra chances to win!

Happy 90th Birthday, Good Humor! Thanks for making my school commute tasty!

This post is sponsored by Good Humor. Check them out on Facebook.

F-word series: Feeling Fabulous, an “Operation Beautiful” Book Review

I’ll be honest, I am so NOT feeling fabulous today, and it’s not just my broken toe.  One of those weeks, particularly at work, which is usually easy-going (aka boring), but I don’t want to dwell on bad incidents only on the fact that I Handled Them.

Maybe it’s the end-of-summer “I feel yucky, bring on the cool weather” feeling, or the fact that I am on the only woman in the whole of the US, I’m sure, to actually put ON weight at the start of summer AND  raise my cholesterol.  “Fabulous” is a lovely adjective that cannot apply to me.  Right?

I have, in my hand, right now, a copy of “Operation Beautiful”. The premise for this lovely little book was started by Caitlin Boyle, who decided to take the pain in her history of questing for beauty (don’t we woman all have that!) and do something positive.  She posted a Post-It note on a mirror in a public restroom that said, “You are beautiful!” and then blogged about it.

I don’t have to tell you what happened then, do I? She started a movement.  “Operation Beautiful” is her blog, and it’s also the title of her new book.  It is a collection of stories of women who have been encouraged by the post-its and other notes they have found, and photos of the notes themselves.  JUST reading those notes is giving me strength today.

Am I fabulous?  YES, I am.  I  am not perfect, but then again, who is?  I’m reading through this book and it’s making me think of you, and the 100’s, 1000’s, millions of sister I have out there who need the encouragement.

Here it is!

If you are feeling down in the dumps, I highly recommend this book!!  It’s broken into chapters as well (“Fat Talk” section, I hear you calling!), so you can call up the encouragement you need right on time.

In the meanwhile, while you are out school shopping or just doing your weekly routine, grab some Post-It’s and start putting up some words of encouragement on bathrooms around America (or the world!).  Then take a snapshot and share it on Operation Beautiful.  Or, if you find a note somewhere, shoot it and share how it made you feel.

Signed,

Empowered, encouraged, and fabulous,
ginabad

“This Sucks”, and the Bad Mommy Blues..

It was “one of those days”. The sun refused to shine, and maybe I had not had enough sleep or allergies kicked in or whatever, but I woke up down and out.  I rarely do depression anymore, so it was hard to sit at work so off-kilter. We still have more than a week for school left for both kids, but they are DONE with being couped up. (Yea so am I!)

Work was hard, freelancing was hard, but I managed those, and then I got out of work and put Zoe, who may have an urinary tract infection, in the tub. (No car, no doctor, c’est la vie.)   She had a blast and I let Amelia mind turn to mush with TV.  We’re in the home stretch of summer, good luck getting work done!

I’m relaxing, still down, and for NO REASON that I can see, Zoe lets loose with a 45 minute tantrum- a real doozy, headbanger type of deal.  I did my level best to do everything I could to calm her, to no avail.  At the end of this, she was doing a “I’m ok, but can scream when I like!” deal, and I was reduced to a mass of jello sitting on the floor crying my ass off with “why me?”, “I’m being punished”, and “I’m to blame for her autism”.

Well, so much for spiritual optimism and my hope’s in God.  I sat there, and I KNEW this was a “what about me?” moment.  Ok, who’m I kidding? It was a “what about me” hour night!

Today I turned on Joyce Meyer and got an earful of how we choose our feelings and don’t give into the negative thoughts or lies from the dark side.  (Surely, “I gave my daughter autism” is a lie, right?  And, “Her condition is my punishment for something” is actually hubris, isn’t it?)

So, no sympathy for me, just an epic, painful fail of a night. I’m not bitter today; it happened. It will, I guess, from time to time, but it’s made me think: Do I really still consider this a punishment for something in my life?  Not on the surface, and not even below the surface, but way, deep down in my heart, do I feel like the cause of my kids’ disabilities?  Maybe I do.

As I plod this course of deep – DEEP self-improvement, the inner me might get a little scary.  How hard do we, any of us, look at what’s really beneath the surface?  And what do we do with the ugly when we find it?

Split / Focus

This is an issue I come to over and over.  I’ve always had something of a split focus, figuring out where I live professionally, and how to balance that as a writer.

However, 7.75 years in, I realize now that I have another split: parenting.  Today, for example, was filled with taking the girls to their evaluation for therapeutic services, which was preceded by a flurry of phone calls, questions, and general information sharing and followed by a stack of paperwork to sign.  Schools starts in 2 weeks for Amelia and 3 weeks for Zoe and decisions still need to be made – some that we just found out about today.  Zoe also needs to go to speech therapy, I’ve been on the waiting list since January or so, and just landed a spot for her so that’s on the to do list as well. AND I’d love to sign the kids up for soccer, so there’s that. Geez, I’m tired just reading this.

I’ll be thrilled when it’s September 15th.

Anyway, there don’t seem to be enough hours in a day EVEN if I completely coordinate them just so, and let God lead, and do the right thing. Really, because life happens – like a dishwasher broken by hard water – so we have to get a water softener and a dishwasher.  THAT means at least a half an hour of dish washing a day.  Ugh.

This is to say that I’d really like to write and do some design, and still get in my paying work (that last one is a joke,  paying work is just fine).  It’s the stuff I’d really enjoy that I don’t get to do much of.  Surely there’s a solution for this??

I’m thinking I have another candidate for my “F” word series: “focus”!

So, do you have time to focus on things you like to do, or make a living doing what you love?  Or is focus a battle for you too? Share your stories.

Potty Training Tips for the Hard-to-Train

Well, it happened.  10 days ago we packed our gear and Amelia’s gear for Dutch Springs, and I realized she did not need a swimmer.

I repeat:  SHE DID NOT NEED A SWIMMER!!

It was then that I realized Amelia is potty trained.  Well, mostly.  She still sneaks on pullups when she needs to poop, or saves it up for her nighttime pullup, BUT she often does it just right. And if there is a poop, we go through the motions.  No more poop duty for this one for me.  I’m pretty proud of her, but I’m also proud of us, Mom and Dad, who survived this period.  I’m feeling pretty confident that after school starts in a few weeks, this skill will be mastered.

Here are my tips, and keep in mind, I sucked at this, but I still trained my child!

• Patience: OK, kids with learning disabilities may have more difficulty.  Consult your pediatrician and special needs experts about what to expect.  Don’t freak out if your kid is not meeting what all your friends with typical kids are doing.  And please, chuck the books if they’re not helping. (Training in a day, my butt!)
• Don’t sweat it so much. Look, nobody likes dealing with poop but don’t let selfishness over-motivate you.  If you need to get used to it, get a dog or cat and get used to dealing with poop. (That was a joke.) (Mostly.)
• Accidents happen, and that’s ok. (Yea, quoting Elmo, sue me.) Unpleasant and painful, but O.K.  Buy cheap undies if you must.
• Rewards work – to a point. I mean, there’s only so many times we could give the kid ice cream, KWIM?  On the other hand, more ice cream might have made more poop. HMMM….
• Move forward.  Yes, we put the potty in the garage – which Amelia was using entirely too much, in private, in her play room, door shut.  Girlfriend, the bathroom has a door AND a lock!
• Find your own way. I made probably every mistake you could possibly make and somehow the kid is mostly trained, and, to my surprise, Zoe is starting to pee in the toilet too – especially at school. All we did with her was play Elmo’s Potty Time over and over AND over, to the point where I’m quoting lyrics in my post…

In the final analysis, it happens when it happens.  This is a control issue, but the more your child matures, and the more you guide them on a right road (trying as best I can), it’ll happen.

Probably…

Baptism, Christening, Kids, & Faith

On August, 22^nd at my awesome church we are having “baby dedication Sunday”, which is for kids age 12 and under.  We did a dedication of my two girls at my former (and also beloved) church.  It’s essentially a brief ritual by which you and the church as whole agree to raise these children in true Christianity. I’m not sure why I did it, I really wasn’t at all on board with the faith at that time.

I had a relative who did a Baptism and Christening of their adopted children in the Catholic church.  That’s the first time I ever learned they were two different things, despite 12 years of Catholic school!  The upside to that is that in such an event you know you’re required to bring baptism and/or christening gifts.  With a dedication, no one quite knows what to do but we were really blessed that family and friends came and showed their love.

Unlike my Catholic upbringing, in the Christian faiths I’ve attended, baptism is a serious and thoughtful commitment that really requires maturity.  I’ve feared sharing my faith with my kids, because my questioning stage was LONG.   I think most of us never really complete that phase but I’m at a point where I can stop the questions long enough to move from “learning” to “doing”.  Amelia knows the “Our Father” and is learning to pray and I pray with Zoe.  Started reading Psalm 16 aloud every morning too.  But a rededication?  I don’t think so for now.

How do you share your faith with your kids, especially if your spouse is not on board?  Ideas? Share there here!

This post is sponsored by Molly Brown, London.

True Love

NOT to be outdone by my buddy Katrina’s post on True Love, I’m sharing my own.  Today, hubby forgot to set the alarm.  I needed a shower, but with 5 minutes before I had to logon for work, I didn’t have time for coffee.  My non-coffee tendency is to grumble, but it DID feel good to sleep late.  I let him know, though, because I can’t afford to come in late.   Response?

“You just looked like a princess sleeping there.”  I’m so glad I didn’t complain.

Later, at noon, in the madness that was my day, I forgot to go to the bank.  I rushed like a maniac looking for the cash I needed to deposit today and freaked out when I couldn’t find it.  DH was at lunch, and I had blown my lunch already, so I panicked.  He very sweetly wrote back and told me not to worry, that he’d forgotten to leave it and I should just put my mind at ease about everything.

What a sweetie. So I did.  In the insanity that often is our life, that is true love.

Your turn: what did your beloved do for you lately that made you sit back and feel good?  Or, what did you do for your sweetie?

Acceptance, Once Again

It’s time to come clean: I haven’t been all that content, or happy, or joyous lately.  Chalk it up to the kids being home all day downstairs, while I try to work in “peace” upstairs, and hope and pray the new sitter is OK on her own.

The result: It’ s been a long grueling summer, and there’s a long way to go yet.  And, oh yea, I’ve been sort of depressed, like weeping on my sleeve, “oh poor me”, “why God why” depressed.

Then I came back to myself and figured a few things out.  My depression was the cause of my guilt being cleansed out and another level of acceptance taking it’s place.

I don’t want you to get this wrong: I love my kids.  But the temptation was too great: What if they were typical, and I thought on it for a second, and Jesus, the pain was crushing.  Then I spiraled into despair.  Why can’t Zoe just say what she wants? Why can’t I understand Amelia? Why can’t this just be easier – NOT easy, just easier?

You know what I can’t stand?  I can’t stand when we take the kids somewhere and after that, all I get is, “Man you guys have your hands full!”, “Wow, how do you do it?”, and “Are you ok today? I see what it takes to raise those kids?”  That makes me feel like my kids are horrible.  I know that’s not the spirit or intention, but it does feel that way.  Then that leads to, “Well, they’re not that far behind, so it must be my crap ass parenting skills.”  And that’s an easy sell for me, because in addition to being a woman, an Italian, raised Catholic, and being a working mom, my natural acumen for guilt is further amped by the fact that before I met Chris, I did not want to have kids.  Babysitting my way through high school along with already having nephews & nieces by then cured me of thinking kids were anything but mostly a challenge. Then I dang went and fell in love, and the rest is history.

But here on this Christian path, or really, on any Godly path I’ve discovered, guilt is only for the bad things you’ve actually and mostly intentionally done.  Guilt is not for “I tried my best and failed” nor for “my kids are not perfect”.  And even real guilt is disolvable if you’re a real Christian.

Once I washed away my guilt (and it took all those tears), new tears came, the tears of “as good as is it gets”.  THAT is a whole level of acceptance all unto itself.

Then, yesterday, in the sermon, my pastor mentioned my child repeating the words and action, verbatim, to “Ice Age 3“.  For him, it was a blessing, and that opened my eyes.  As a parent, it’s just that darn echolalia.  For him, it was her ability to memorize, to entertain, to throw herself unflinchingly into performance.  At that, more tears fell (hopefully we’re done with them), but this time they were tears of peace.  My kids are what they are, and they are good. God made them perfectly, and I get that…

…until the next time I don’t.

Do you struggle with your child’s struggles?  Even if he or she is not disabled, is a consistent poor showing at something cause for pain?  And is guilt easier than acceptance?  How do you cope with it – I could really use some pointers!

Image: djcodrin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

A Time of Selah

“Selah” is a biblical term.  It’s used in Psalms, between verses, on it’s own with a period.  (Or at least that’s how it’s translated.)  I read some time back that no one is certain what it means, but they believe it’s a musical pause between verses.  Christians at large accept it to be a metaphor for “break” (We were on a BREAK! Woops, sorry

If you look at it that way, as my pastor said this week, I’m in a time of selah.  I needed a break, a pause, a time to regenerate, recuperate.  In June, I couldn’t understand why I was so lost.  Nothing was coming.  My creativity was on vacation and it didn’t invite me.  The Muse had LEFT the building.

Then work SLOOOOOOWED down, and prospects thinned, and Chris went back to work, and school ended, and I was befuddled.  After all, I’m very much a Type A Mommy-Worker-Entrepreneur-Wife-Writer.  I have to be doing, all the time, something interesting. The boredom disintegrated into demotivation, the books I was reading didn’t move me, and all seemed at a FULL STOP.

So what has happened in this time of Selah?  Not much, really, until this week:

Kids:

• Amelia pooped in the potty TONIGHT first time of her own volition.
• Zoe peed in the potty for the new sitter, yay!  Also her own volition.
• Zoe understood for the first time that poop doesn’t belong on stuff, rather it needs to be in the diaper or potty. (Don’t ask.)

Me:

• I figured out my unique selling point, my niche, a way to make it work without hiring anyone, and a perfect setup for my new business, which works on way too many levels to be coincidence.
• I got back on Twitter and good stuff flowed from there (more another day).
• My creativity started to flow again.
• I am learning a lot and amping up my skill set.

That’s it for now.  I have blog posts due, and I feel bad for them being late, but being short on help this week has WIPED me out, so has sleeping poorly.  (Hm, not a problem when I journaled, need to get back to that!)  Good stuff going on all around.

How about you?  Have you ever had a time of emptiness, a long flat valley, a period of Selah, that ended in a great result? Share your stories in the comments!  Note that I moderate comments for newcomers.

Stay tuned! Reviews and giveaways are on the horizon!

Next Page »