Potty Training Tips for the Hard-to-Train

Well, it happened.  10 days ago we packed our gear and Amelia’s gear for Dutch Springs, and I realized she did not need a swimmer.

I repeat:  SHE DID NOT NEED A SWIMMER!!

It was then that I realized Amelia is potty trained.  Well, mostly.  She still sneaks on pullups when she needs to poop, or saves it up for her nighttime pullup, BUT she often does it just right. And if there is a poop, we go through the motions.  No more poop duty for this one for me.  I’m pretty proud of her, but I’m also proud of us, Mom and Dad, who survived this period.  I’m feeling pretty confident that after school starts in a few weeks, this skill will be mastered.

Here are my tips, and keep in mind, I sucked at this, but I still trained my child!

• Patience: OK, kids with learning disabilities may have more difficulty.  Consult your pediatrician and special needs experts about what to expect.  Don’t freak out if your kid is not meeting what all your friends with typical kids are doing.  And please, chuck the books if they’re not helping. (Training in a day, my butt!)
• Don’t sweat it so much. Look, nobody likes dealing with poop but don’t let selfishness over-motivate you.  If you need to get used to it, get a dog or cat and get used to dealing with poop. (That was a joke.) (Mostly.)
• Accidents happen, and that’s ok. (Yea, quoting Elmo, sue me.) Unpleasant and painful, but O.K.  Buy cheap undies if you must.
• Rewards work – to a point. I mean, there’s only so many times we could give the kid ice cream, KWIM?  On the other hand, more ice cream might have made more poop. HMMM….
• Move forward.  Yes, we put the potty in the garage – which Amelia was using entirely too much, in private, in her play room, door shut.  Girlfriend, the bathroom has a door AND a lock!
• Find your own way. I made probably every mistake you could possibly make and somehow the kid is mostly trained, and, to my surprise, Zoe is starting to pee in the toilet too – especially at school. All we did with her was play Elmo’s Potty Time over and over AND over, to the point where I’m quoting lyrics in my post…

In the final analysis, it happens when it happens.  This is a control issue, but the more your child matures, and the more you guide them on a right road (trying as best I can), it’ll happen.

Probably…

Happy Labor Day!

I hope you all have a great weekend. I have one packed with work, back to school shopping, a party  and visitors, but I’m really proud of my kids.

This week, Amelia made peeps in the potty several time. She’s having issues with number one, and of course, will have to use pullups for school, but where getting there. Actually, it’s a big deal because she’s had a virus all week, one that’s affected her stomach as well as sinuses and fever.

Zoe’s in bed for the count today too, but Chris heard her count to TEN clear as a bell. Outstanding!

On another note, my new sitter seems to be working out, so woohoo!

If you’re an IT person (or married to one), and in need of humor check out:

1. xkcd Cartoon Strip
2. The IT Crowd – “This, Jen, is the internet.”

That’s all for now. Hope you enjoy your weekend, and I’ll be back next week to pick a winner for my giveaway (still plenty of changes to win!!) and share tales of school!

Missing you all…

Man, I’ve been wanting to write.  Just me, no hype, just lots of life-changing stuff going on it seems, but who has time anymore?  Maybe I need to bring my blog back to basics.  I have a lot of projects in-house and I’m about to start another new project, and there’s home improvement stuff as well. Good Lord, I wish I could show you how FINE my house looks with the kick ass colors I chose for it. (Right, Good Lord, You approve too, no?)

I digress, though.  I have several personal projects I need started too:

1. My special needs resource site. Someone is installing a wiki and forum on my Drupal site, and I’m just going to pick a theme and go with it til I have time to rock the design. Got my logo in mind too.
2. My writing site. Sadly neglected, but I think I want it to be a promotional site for my novel (still not done revising, argh!).  That’s ok, because it turns out that I can’t find an illustration of a dress in the style I have in mind for my main character and I can’t draw.  Stumped on this one…
3. Someone asked me to start writing on my God Blog again, which is a good thing, because I have a fantastic idea for a devotional. All I need is a book proposal, ha, yea right…
4. My business is rebranding (think this should be #1??) and I just dreamed up the design, somewhat last week. And yes, it rocks.
5. This blog needs another revamp. There’s some stuff I want to add because you should be listening to the awesome stuff I’m listening to. (This is how reading will become extinct, wah!)

And don’t ask me HOW, but all this reminds me that my husband has yet to bring me to see the Time Travellers Wife.  Arg.  And school!!!  Augh, 2 weeks from today. I’m woefully UNprepared.

Well, at least Amelia peed in the potty twice yesterday.  Set back today as my mother in law forgot and kept her in pullups today, but after I put her back in big girl wares, she did run for  (and miss) the potty after dinner.  Mama says that progress, kiss ma butt if you don’t agree, lol…

Potty Training, Revisited

Well, today was interesting. I didn’t allow Amelia to wear pullups, diaper or swimmers.  Instead, she had 3 accidents, peeing on my floors (carpetted floors, grrr).  I’ve not only forced her to wear them but also to clean up her messes by hand, then redress.

I’ve had little luck with my numerous attempts at potty training her, so I’m desperate.  I don’t need supernanny, I need freedom from diapers NOW.

However, I think this experiment, recommended by The Mom Daily, is having one valuable payoff. When Amelia wears pullups, she pees all the time. Constantly.  I could change it 15x a day.

Today she peed THREE TIMES. That means, she is learning bladder control, um, enforced bladder control, that is.  I think that’s probably a good starting point.

Wish me luck! I’ll keep you posted when that happy day of self-control comes around.

Oh, and can anyone recommend a good pee-on-demand doll?  Zoe’s approaching 4 and so it’s her turn!

Potty Training, Down Syndrome, and My Head Strong Kid: The Battle is Engaged

As all my regular readers know, I’ve been struggling for years now to potty train my daughter with Down syndrome.  I have made every major failing a parent can make for this, and now am at the point where conventional things no longer work.  Since she is going into first grade in the fall, I’m determined to get this over with.  Here are some of the strategies I’ve used and failed with:

• put her on the potty for a long period of time
• put her on nightly
• go through the motions
• reward chart
• keeping track and shooting for a “scheduled” time to pee
• putting on underwear
• making her clean her own underwear when she pooped in them

I really thought that last one would work, but it took 30 minutes to get done and the next day, she was having nothing to do with underwear. (Yes, I just thought of hiding the pull ups, it’s something I’m considering.)

Next strategy on my list is to potty train Zoe first and we’ll be purchasing a doll and shooting to train her the week after summer school ends.  A little competition is good for them.  I actually got her to scrub her hair a little today because Zoe obeyed and did it first.

However, I am SERIOUSLY sick and tired of this, so I used another tactic: forcing her.  Every night after dinner, I know she pees.  So I ditched the dinner battles.  (“Don’t want the chicken? Fine. Eat some veggies and here’s more juice.”)  I loaded her FULL of juice and made her sit on the potty until she went 3 nights ago, bribing her with ice cream and loading her up on LOTS of juice.  The little dish was a half inch deep in liquid.  I told my husband, “She peed!”

Chris: “I don’t believe it. Are you sure it’s not apple juice? She could have poured it in there.”

Me (inhaling deeply): “No, the cup smells like juice but this doesn’t.”

Chris: “I don’t believe it. Stick your finger in and taste it.”

Me (incredulous look): “You taste it!”

Chris: “OK, stick your finger in and see if it’s hot. The juice is cold.”

Sure enough, it was hot. And here’ s the amazing thing. Amelia took the tray, dumped it in the toilet bowl and flushed. Wow, I for sure thought that would be a battle!

Afterward, we called Aunt Carolyn to share the good news.

Well, if she can do it once, she can do it again.  The last 2 additional nights, she has only peed about  a tablespoon full, but still, she peed.  We made her sit there, drink juice, watch “Babe”, read books, whatever. Just as long as she peed.

Chris actually caught her today sitting on the regular toilet by herself. We don’t know if she peed, but I’m not going to push it – YET.

If we can do this nightly, then we can do it after lunch regularly, after school, and so on.  Throw in the sisterly competition, bigger rewards, a chart, and eliminating pull ups, and God willing this kid just might be potty trained by summer’s end.  Or the fall, ’cause I’ll take that too!

Wish us luck!

Checking in quick

This is turning out to be an outstanding week!

First a design I’m doing on the homepage of a publication..they LOOOVED it! And I questioned my design skills, it does look GOOOOD. Need to figure out how to get exposure on this. I’ve also been learning a lot about copywriting and branding, and I’m doing well to reinvent myself … and keep web design in my life. This is a good thing, and I’m actually excited about it. Got an outstanding compliment from a colleague as well on my ability to accomplish this. woohoo!

Back into editing, and it’s getting good, I’m feeling happy about it. My first writer’s workshop is next weekend, and a great character workshop is going on Monday night. Psyched!

In kid new, big drumroll here, Amelia did her first poop in the potty!!! No tears, no stress, we were reading Curious George (love him!) and she leaned forward and gave me a funny look. I all excited because I thought it was pee, lol!! How awesome is my kid? She’s really growing up into a cooperative, helpful, young girl.

Ok that’s all. Life has been GOOOOOD.
PEACE OUT…

Success!

We have peepee in the potty – first time Amelia’s done it for us, and first time I think she’s done it at all in like a year or more. WOOHOOO!!!!

I was working, but she came up (sans bottom) and pulled me out of working to go down and look at the “water” in the potty.  I remembered to give her a candy…I think she was inspired by the fact that me, her Daddy, and her little sister all got to eat a piece of Reese’s but she didn’t.  HEY MAN WHATEVER WORKS!

In addition, we just learned that we could have had a script for diapers and /or pullups for FREE, available for any special needs kid in PA after they turn 3 through their medical assistance.  We have it but have had no luck find someone to actually give them to us.  We need a distributor and the first one we found refused.  We think it’s because it was the wrong hospital…our plan uses a different hospital, so we’ll have to remedy that next week.  This a Godsend at a hard time like this, free diapers…wow, I could have saved probably 1000s of dollars, if I’d known.

Ah well…

Phantom potty visit

On Friday night, hubby and I were leaving for a date and I was trying to be a good mommy by getting Amelia all together for her night routine (which is spotty, at best) and trying to get her on the potty.  It’s in the playroom, so I pick it up quickly, only to get splashed all over my arm?

what the???

It’s filled with liquid that DOES turn out to be pee. Wow!  OK, when did that happen?  My mother in law tells me that she saw Amelia without her diaper earlier and put a clean one on her.

And I guess in the interim, Amelia stealthily filled the potty.

Good going!  But because it was earlier in the day, the excitement and reward part didn’t really pay off.  I think, though, that Amelia is learning discretion – that she likes privacy in regards to the potty, at least partially.  Awesome.

The daycare has asked me to switch to training pants and that they will help her learn (Zoe too).  I’m a bit concerned about this, but leaving it in God’s hands.

Here’s to a diaper free 2008!!

Potty Training and Children with Down Syndrome

My friend Katrina picked up the part about my potty training struggles on my “Fell Behind” post. I thought about this seriously and came to some not-too-pleasant self-realizations:

I’m still struggling accepting that Amelia has Down syndrome.

Why? I mean, she’s an awesome kid. Her achievements are super special to me. She’s happy and fun and learning great and perfectly healthy and coming along in EI. I’ve been through acceptance so many times – but why is there always this little voice that says, “She not really DS kid, she’s mosaic, mostly typical.”

But the fact is, she DOES have a hard time learning some things. She IS having speech difficulty. There ARE things that she doesn’t retain at all. And of course, we have the whole potty training thing.

To tell you the TRUTH, it’s burdensome to be in this no man’s land of “she is”, “she isn’t”, but I’m more scared of committing to the fact that she is: that she may have difficulty with adult life, may not handle college well, may not have a glorious career of some sort, may not have a husband or a family. All my mind says is: “OR SHE MAY!”

I feel like an awful turd at times because I compare her to other kids in EI or with Downs. I know it is terrible and wrong of me. I know this is Amelia’s community and I curse the damn prejudice we have in this country (in the world?) against people with special needs – because we do have it, and it’s so ingrained that it shapes feelings about our children.

I am frustrated and ashamed of myself.

But this is a post about potty training, remember? Well, Katrina mentioned that DS kids typically don’t potty train til age 5. And at 4 and a half, last week I knew that she had gone in the potty only about 3, 4 times this whole year, but I knew I had to keep plugging away.

As if Amelia knew what Katrina had written, she went in the potty. Actually, hubby put kids to bed last night and I found poop in the potty THIS MORNING (boy he must have been TIRED!). We did our celebration/reward thing and then today I found her, during her regularly scheduled potty time, struggling – she had the poop coming and had gotten UP and was too freaked out to sit. FIRST, we did the happy dance, and then I had to hold her down to get her through the rest of the …process. After it was done, she got really happy. I had her bring in the little potty recepticle to the sink.

Then, she sat down at the table and looked at me. I’d been so happy and so busy cleaning up, putting on diaper, etc. that I forgot the reward part. So she looked at me suspiciously and said, “Cookie.” It was NOT a question.

But then when I got it for her, she didn’t eat it and she gave me that look again. “MILK.” Oh how proud I am of her – it is our deal that she is NOT allowed to eat cookies without milk. (She’s not a big fan of unchocolated milk.)

I read my post above, and the biggest thing I think now is that I can’t think or plan my children’s future. It’s way way off, and who knows? All bets are off anyway for any parent. I think perhaps a special needs parent may learn this faster. Comparative parenting, too, is just wrong. I vow I will try and STOP looking, measuring, assessing. If the doctors or the teachers alert me to something, I will weigh that as well (and that goes for both kids).

I’m tired, and I’m cranky, but dammit I am a good mom. Love you all,
gb

Fell behind!

Wow, I haven’t blogged since 8/23??? That’s nearly 2 weeks. Well, I’ve been buried alive in work. This is a GOOD thing, as I love working, and I’m learning some awesome things and I’ve earned enough to get us out of SOME of the serious debt we’re in.

Meanwhile, I must tell you that life is good. No, really! OK, now I’m sure you just want to leave, because happiness makes for poor posts – and I’d usually agree. But, what the hell, I’ll update you anyway.

Today I got an email back from a key Democratic group – a job right near the Capital, and there’s a possibility I’d only have to go in rarely OR they may have contract work. To say I’m psyched is an understatement. Working for my party and doing what I love for actual money, what could be better, except telecommuting it too? It’s premature to get excited, I know. I have another telecommute interview this week too, so we’ll see.

Amelia is doing fantastic. She can now cut with scissors, not a pro at it yet, but she actually knows how to clip, then open scissor, push forward, clip, etc. Awesome, girly girl! She’s coming along on counting (I’m using them in discipline – “if I get to 3 you’re in time out”), and letters, and drawing too. Then today a new PBS show started (in place of my beloved “Caillou”), and by the end of the show SHE WAS SPELLING. Whooooa, how did that happen? I’m so proud.

Potty training – well, let’s just say that a few extreme things even did not work out. Nothing works with her, and Chris wants to hire a professional (isn’t that admitting defeat?). The only thing is not being potty trained bans her from certain programs and daycare places at her age. Well, I guess I’ll just keep plugging away the schedule. Still haven’t got a night schedule either, that’s the next trick.

Zoe is awesome too. She’s calmed down a LOT on tantrums, and we are working hard to get her to say words. When we were away, she was interested in pronouncing “Joey” and “Gaby” – our friends’ kids. She now loves the water too. Amelia really is a little fish, too, we need to get her lessons, maybe in the spring to be ready to swim.

Chris is doing very well too. That lovable man, while I was working, I thought he was putting up a shelf that fell – he did, but he also filled our entire hallway with family photos. Isn’t that cool? We really need to get our wedding photo a frame again and add it there.

That’s all. Life is good.

Next Page »