Are you shy in the bedroom? Well, I am – yea, married for 14 years and still quite shy! Last week, I was contacted by “Ask Yvonne” and offered to do a giveaway of Astroglide and share some tips for overcoming sexual shyness.
This is a really difficult issue for me. I’m 47, and Mom was 41 when I was born. Fortunately, I had an older sister and sex ed in school (Catholic school, no less!) so I pretty much knew what I was doing, but confidence and self-esteem were never presented to me in this area. Mom, bless her heart, wanted to start the “talk” when I came home from my honeymoon at age 33. I think that many kids who are raised Christian suffer from this lack of discussion about sex. The problem is, it can backfire, as it did with me. I thought being physically intimate was a requirement to having a boyfriend at all, and it was always about them, not me.
Now, I struggle to instruct my children to protect and value their own bodies and instill the values I have now, which were certainly not there when I was a foolish, wild, young girl. I know that it starts with instilling value in themselves.
Want a Better Sex Life? Take Care of Yourself First
Astroglide’s Sexual Wellness Ambassador Dr. Yvonne Fulbright offers plenty of tips is to get to boost your body image and overcome sexual shyness. She writes:
“For some, the biggest challenge to getting in a sexy state of mind and letting that be known is how a woman feels about her body. This also goes for those who seemingly have the ‘best’ bodies. You can start feeling better about your form with regular exercise (as this has mental health perks as well), eating healthy meals, avoiding toxins, and shutting down negative self-talk. Do things that make you feel good about the skin you’re in, like yoga, getting a massage, or wearing clothes that feel like they were made for you.”
I don’t agree with all her tips, but for me, this one resonates. A healthy sex life must be based on self-worth and self-confidence, and one of the easiest ways to get there is by taking care of the skin you’re in. For those of us who are Christians, we are told that our bodies are a temple – so why don’t we women treat it that way? Eating properly, cleaning out toxins, and working out to a proper measure boosts self-esteem and makes your body feel good.
The key is to take on one thing at a time. For me, reducing toxins, which I did only recently – clean soap, gluten-free shampoo, nothing on my skin not made from food or essentials oil – had the immediate effect of making my skin and hair shinier and look better, and my husband suddenly notices how good I smell all the time. It’s an easy way to start the journey to good health and feeling good about yourself.
Defeating Negative Self-Talk
As far as negative self-talk, my faith has actually helped me to overcome that. To know that God loves me personally, created and chose me especially, and blesses me with all my faults abundantly has changed me from a self-doubting, shy, frequently depressed person to a joyful, spirit-filled, awesome woman. I can’t even describe how good I feel about myself now!
Do I still have bedroom shyness issues? Yes, but less so and they are working themselves out little by little – and my husband couldn’t be happier.
Better Sex in 2013
Have more questions about how to overcome sexual shyness? Long to make a healthy sex life a priority this year? Visit sex expert Ask Yvonne and ask your questions. In the meantime, Astroglide is giving away free samples of lubricant at http://astroglide.com/singleedition/. Better yet, they have a “natural” sample, free of parabens, hormones, latex, glycerin, flavorings…you get the picture. That’s the one I’d try!
DISCLOSURE: This is a sponsored post for Astroglide. All opinions are my own.