Today was the big day! Blondie’s first day of Kindergarten! and wouldn’t you know, I am the one TERRIFIED! Blondie was ready to go bright and early. However, I was up all night worrying and wondering about her first day. Total opposites. Usually, she is a mini-me but not today.
I can’t believe she is already in school and she is growing so fast. It seems like yesterday we brought her home from the hospital. I have so many conflicting emotions today. Pride, excitement, worry, anticipation, anxiety, fear and so many more.
Infertility, miscarriages, the problematic pregnancy and delivery combined with all of Blondie’s medical issues have resulted in a very overprotective Mama! (to say the least)
- Anxiety- Hers and mine!
- School Bus
- Overall success
- Control- I have been able to control her environment to a large extent up to now and give her a “safety net” of sorts. I have to let go and let her be independent. I have to trust my baby to other people and that is HARD!
- Age- It’s been 5 years already? That means I’m 3X years old now!!! WHAT, oh my!
- Protection- I can’t protect her when she isn’t with me and I can’t protect her from other people’s actions. I can’t “micro manage” situations and I can’t control other people. SCARY STUFF!
- Tours and Meetings
- Activities and “back to school prep
- Organizing and Routines
- Plans and “going with the flow”
- Night Before: I made up her snacks for the week, we picked out her clothes for the week, packed her book-bag, set up the “family command center, and went over what to expect tomorrow. She was so prepared and ready. I was NOT! I checked, double checked checked again EVERYTHING. I quizzed her until she said, “Mom, I need to sleep!” (while laughing). She went through our bedtime routine without an issue and right to bed on time. I was up all night with my mind going through so many emotions, thoughts and memories. My baby was going to SCHOOL!
- Morning: I slept about an hour last night so I was dragging (cue the energy drinks) but she was up bright and early! So proud as went through our morning routine with no problems. She was ready and asking if it was time for the bus 30 minutes early. I meticulously went through my list of things to do and went through her book-bag twice to double check. I went over all her “important info” with her (bus number, teacher name, etc) all to her reply of “Yes, mom! I got it!” Daddy was relaxed and looked like he just wanted to tell me to “CHILL!” and they shared that “mom is funny” look with each other a few times. Ginger was just as excited as Blondie!
- Morning School Bus: We went to the bus stop and she talked to every and wanted to be the first to spot the bus (she was!) Again, I went over what to expect at school, the schedule and reassured her I’d be there when she returned. Again, “I got it Mom!” with a smile. She even kissed Ginger goodbye! ( They do like each other, HA!) She even found a friend (who was scared) and held her hand while getting on the bus. They sat together and waved goodbye while grinning brightly! (I cried)
- My Day: I tried to stay busy to keep my mind off Blondie at school. I cleaned, I organized digital pictures and worked on this post among other things. I drank my energy drink to stay awake. Ginger wasn’t so sure what to do without Blondie at home. (awww, she really misses her!) Thankfully, a friend of mine stopped by and kept us company for awhile. I was so glad to see her and enjoyed the conversation. It left me with under an hour to wait for Blondie’s afternoon arrival! In all honesty, it was really quiet and I was able to spend a lot of quality “mommy and me” time with Ginger!
So, all my fears and worries for the day were for nothing! She had a fantastic day and can’t wait to go back. And that is good, just what needed to happen. I’m so proud of her and looking forward to the rest of Kindergarten!
Live, Love & Learn,