A Special Needs-Mom’s Prayer

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Dear Lord,

Thank you for the blessing of my children. I love them with all my heart, but I think you picked the wrong person.

There’s not enough hours in a day to take care of them, do housework, spend time with my husband, work full time and find fulfillment.

What am I missing?

I never expected to have perfect children. I just never expected to feel so completely like a failure when I’m trying my very best all the time.

My prayer is the same as every night:
Give me the tools, the wisdom, the patience to be the best parent I can be, and give my children the mental skills they require to learn the proper behavior. Give me peace and rest and serenity, and give them tenacity, willingness, and respect. Give me a time out when I need it, as I do for them. Give me the trust and the hope that “this too shall pass” and give them the possibility that they will grow into strong, good, honest and faithful women through my and my husband’s parenting.

Give me the confidence to see this through so that I can raise confident girls.

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22 thoughts on “A Special Needs-Mom’s Prayer

  1. Katrina Stonoff

    This is lovely, Gina. Thanks for giving voice to all of us mothers doing our very best to raise children with special needs.

    And let me assure you — I worry just as much or more that my typical (but easily bored) son will embarrass me at those kinds of events. He usually does, and my Girly Girl never does.

  2. Katrina Stonoff

    This is lovely, Gina. Thanks for giving voice to all of us mothers doing our very best to raise children with special needs.

    And let me assure you — I worry just as much or more that my typical (but easily bored) son will embarrass me at those kinds of events. He usually does, and my Girly Girl never does.

  3. admin Post author

    Hi Katrina! Well, no, my girls have never embarrassed me actually. Nothing they do makes me feel weird, it’s only other people’s reactions that make me feel weird. So if I feel embarrassed, I try to remember to be embarrassed for those judgmental critics who think they get it. And maybe say a prayer for them too, because karma is a bitch! LOL…

    Well, boys do embarrassing things more easily than girls, maybe that our sense of shame is higher, once we develop it, that is. Dealing with nudist 3 year old at present, lol..

  4. Jennifer

    Hi there, I also have 2 girls. I’m also raising a special needs child…she’s blind….so I was just browsing blogs and came across yours! Check mine out too!

    1. admin Post author

      Hi Jennifer, welcome! You have a great blog. I’ll link it here when I get a chance.

  5. Lori

    This just goes to show that sometimes what we write can be meaningful to others long after it’s been written.
    Today I had a child study for my daughter (initial IEP meeting) and I have been crying off and on ever since. Everyone keeps telling me what a good advocate I am for my child, but what my thoughts always come back to is…this is ALL my fault.
    Today I raised my voice at these people more than once and even cussed once. I just keep saying this shouldn’t be SO HARD. And the thought of having to deal with the system for another 10 years is about enough to crush my spirit…
    But, quitting isn’t an option…

    1. admin Post author

      Lori, I just want to give you a hug.

      {{{{hug}}}}

      Cry it out if you have to. This too shall pass. One day at a time, one day at a time. I’ll pray that you may find rest and strength, even as you battle. (And, I know a little something about that cussing feeling.)

  6. Lysa

    Hi, I have been working with special needs for several years. I see how hard it is for the parents. Just know that its not a punishment from God. He wants to help and heal your children. I pray for special needs children daily. It is on my heart to see them healed. Please remember that our words have power. What we say over these children defines them.
    “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Proverbs 18:21 If everyones declaring their children have problems then they will. “Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.”Ephesians 4:29 Christ died so that they can be free from pain and bondage. Let’s walk in faith knowing God is our healer.Be on guard. “Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. And do everything with love.” 1 Corinthians 16:13-14, Instead of praying the same prayer daily let’s thank the Lord by faith for already accomplishing it on the cross.”The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.” Psalm 13

    Father God I thank you and praise you for healing these children and parents. That you died for them. I ask that you would reveal your glory to the parents, family members, and care providers. Give them your wisdom. For the “Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding.”Proverbs 2:6
    Soften there hearts and pour out your truth. Reveal the roots. Comfort them Father. Let them see that they are not alone that you have never abandoned them. We bless your name Lord. Send your ministering angels. In Jesus’ name I pray by faith. Amen!! Let it be done.

    Be encouraged that God loves you. He has not given you a spirit of fear but of power and a sound mind.

  7. Lysa

    Hi, I have been working with special needs for several years. I see how hard it is for the parents. Just know that its not a punishment from God. He wants to help and heal your children. I pray for special needs children daily. It is on my heart to see them healed. Please remember that our words have power. What we say over these children defines them.
    “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Proverbs 18:21 If everyones declaring their children have problems then they will. “Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.”Ephesians 4:29 Christ died so that they can be free from pain and bondage. Let’s walk in faith knowing God is our healer.Be on guard. “Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. And do everything with love.” 1 Corinthians 16:13-14, Instead of praying the same prayer daily let’s thank the Lord by faith for already accomplishing it on the cross.”The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.” Psalm 13 You have authority over the enemy and all his plots to steal kill and destroy. Everything he has stolen from you he has to pay back ten fold.

    Father God I thank you and praise you for healing these children and parents. That you died for them. I ask that you would reveal your glory to the parents, family members, and care providers. Give them your wisdom. For the “Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding.”Proverbs 2:6 Show them the authority you have given them.
    Pour out your truth. Reveal the roots. Comfort them Father. Let them see that they are not alone that you have never abandoned them. We bless your name Lord. Send your ministering angels. In Jesus’ name I pray by faith. Amen!! Let it be done.

    Be encouraged that God loves you. He has not given you a spirit of fear but of power and a sound mind.

  8. JVG

    Hi,

    Thanks for posting this wonderful poem. It helped me calm down right now and not start blaming god again (at least today).

    A mother of a 4 year old with special needs.

    1. admin Post author

      JVG, I’m glad to help. Email me if you need – been there, wrote the book on blaming God myself… Peace & love to you,
      g

  9. Annie Todor

    I often think I am not the right person too. It seems I fail and then try again…fail and try again. We need God’s strength in a BIG WAY each day and that is my prayer for you today. You are giving them love and that is what they need. You are an awesome mom. Happy Valentines Day!!!!

    1. admin Post author

      Annie, you are so sweet! That is very true, I need His strength daily. It’s the only thing that gets me through and honestly, with it some days I astonish myself at what I can accomplish. Happy Valentines Day!

  10. Elaine

    Thank you so much for writing this beautiful prayer. I have a 5 year old boy with special needs. I love him dearly….it is very difficult to keep the strength and energy to be his advocate. I am curently pleading with the school board to get him help. Some days it feels like I can’t do it and I wanna give up,. Many nights I have gone to bed crying. Hoping that help will come, that my son will fit in, that we will all be happy. God will answer our prayers when He decides the time is right….I have faith that that day is coming soon. I am thankful to have Him in my life. Without the Lord, I wouldn’t be able to fight for my son, to parent my other 2 children, to take care of our home and my husband….God is with all of us mothers.
    Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone

    [WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us ’0 which is not a hashcash value.

    1. admin Post author

      Elaine, thank you for your comment. I know exactly how you feel, but now, I don’t worry so much. My girls are God’s children too, and He will take of and provide for them. So I don’t live in fear of the future, or dread the crummy things that may happen today. Find peace and love inside, so that you can pass it on to your boy and give him the strength he needs to bear his burdens. Join some communities too – there are lots of them online! If you are fighting, you shouldn’t be alone. Find support groups where other moms are going through the same thing…ask God to lead you to them. It really makes a difference when you can cry on the shoulder of someone who’s been there!

      peace & love to you Elaine, g

  11. Vicki

    It’s wonderful to encourage one another in the Lord. I’m a parent of two adult sons. My oldest son, now 30 yrs. old, has mental illness (schizoaffective disorder. He was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in 1985 at a time when there weren’t many support groups. So, I began a support group for parents of special needs children. I agree that it’s wonderful to meet other parents who understand the joys and challenges of having a child with special needs. Having a son with special needs made me a better special educator (am now an adjunct professor teaching special education courses to students – able to provide insight into the heart of a parent with a child with special needs). When I was diagnosed with MS in 2003, I gained an even deeper insight into special needs. All these challenges have provided opportunities to witness God’s faithfulness. People used to judge me because of my son’s hyperactive behavior – not knowing parents of children with ADHD work harder. I grew to forgive people who have no way of understanding my journey. I also learned to do everything for God’s approval. We can often feel helpless. God promises abundant hope: “Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13
    Vicki
    VickiĀ“s last blog post ..Kindred Hearts

    1. admin Post author

      Hi Vicki, welcome! I apologize for the slow response, my inbox is crowded! Thank you for sharing with me. I admire your courage to start a support group and rely on God at a time when so little was known. Good luck with your journey, I’m sure I can learn SO much from you!

  12. Jennifer in FL

    Had an extremely rough day in public school with my son who has autism. Came across this blog by typing in “prayer for special needs children”. Now I know what moved me to do that. To find out this isn’t abnormal and that other parents are going through it as well makes a lot of difference! Thank you for sharing thoughts that mirror my own.

    1. admin Post author

      Hi Jennifer, no worries! I totally understand. I might even blog about my horrific morning, but I’d sort of rather forget it, lol…

  13. Johanna

    I am amazed by these words I have been looking for an outlet to relieve my stress…I seem to never stop crying I have been blaming myself, life, god the world and have never gotten any answers…My son is Autistic, ADHD in addition to having a sensory integration dysfunction…I’m lost, cant find words at time. Feel out of breathe and out of function. Please help me.

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