Great Moments in Parenting!
Despite my last post, I did have one triumph today: I got Zoe to wear a shirt indoors the whole day. Well, my babysitter got her to do it while she was here, and I let her take her “alone break” while worked out in diaper only, but then got her to wear a different shirt the rest of the day.
See? NOT an autism issue, just a stubborn child issue. So there…
Tomorrow I’ll be blogging on accountability? Does anyone remember that, specifically, politicians???
Stop. Breathe. Remember. Then get down on your knees…
by admin on June 30, 2009
in being mommy, parenting, self discovery, special needs
Yesterday was an extraordinarily bad day. I questioned myself at every turn. Amelia was in a bad state, misbehaving throughout the entire day. I pulled out every trick in my bag of parenting tricks: time outs, punishments, putting her to bed. Task after task on top of that piled up. By the time I put her to bed, I was exhausted and before tucking her in, vented (without yelling) to my husband.
She heard me, I think. She’s never gone to bed angry at me before. I’ve never felt so bad in all my life.
Then I did my writing commitments for the day, feeling crummy, and hit my daily obligation to revise my novel. I ended that task convinced I suck as a writer.
God may think I’m the right person to be a special needs mom twice over and a fiction writer, but I’ll have to trust him because I went to sleep feeling like a failure. Again.
I tried this morning to be optimistic. I am doing the best I can, and I know it. Maybe it could be more but I can’t see how. I’ve prayed hard today and asked for guidance and prioritization. I successfully got Zoe to keep her shirt on after 10 days refusing to wear any clothes indoors. (I won the diaper battle on Day 1, thank God!) Still, I didn’t feel good.
It’s hard to know, sometimes, when your childrens’ behavior is part of their learning disability or your fault.
This morning, I turned on a Joyce Meyer podcast once the sitter got here. It was about a man who suffered a serious stroke that almost killed him.
In 1999, at the age of 33, I suffered a serious stroke too. I firmly believe that I’m alive today thanks to the powerful prayers of my family. Or, maybe it wasn’t my time yet. I remember vividly waking up in MICU, looking out the only window. It was appropriate to put me in that spot, since every other person in the unit was unconscious. There I was, alive and well, while 20 or so other people walked that valley between life and death. It was like being in a cemetery. I don’t know who made it out, who died, and who is still in a coma to this day. I only know it changed my life.
Maybe today I needed that reminder. Life is too short and too precious. I have so much and I know it. I’m thankful for this life, my second chance at getting it right. I’m thankful for my kids and my husband, just as they are. I’m thankful for my income, such as it is, and the gift of writing that I’ve been blessed with.
I’m thankful that I’m at a point in my life, finally, where I don’t fear death either.
Will Amelia behave today? Will Zoe run naked the rest of the day? I don’t know. Will Chris be angry at my words today? Will my writing suck today? I don’t know.
What I do know is it’s a beautiful day and I’m alive and well. What I do know is this crummy feeling is still with me, but it’s not God and I won’t bow to it. What I do know is that life is bittersweet, and the valley really sucks when you know you’re in the sweet part.
Are you hurting today? Is life giving you impossible demands that you can’t meet? Do you think God picked the wrong person for this gig?
Yea, me too. Time to:
- Stop what you’re doing.
- Breathe deeply, in and out.
- Remember that God loves you.
- Be thankful for all you have.
That’s all we can do; that and hope that today will be better.
Sunday Helper: Rethink Autism Launches Website
by admin on June 28, 2009
in autism spectrum disorder
Today’s Sunday Helper is a press release for Rethink Autism, an organization that helps professionals and families dealing with autism.
RETHINK AUTISM LAUNCHES FIRST WEBSITE EMPOWERING FAMILIES AND PROFESSIONALS
WITH SCIENCE-BASED TECHNIQUES TO CONFRONT THE DAILY CHALLENGES OF AUTISM
(June, 2009) NEW YORK - Rethink Autism, Inc., an educational technology company based in New York City, today launched rethinkautism.com, the first online resource to offer parents and professionals immediate access to effective and affordable treatment tools for the growing population affected by autism spectrum disorders. Rethink Autism’s methods and resources are based on Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), the only scientifically-validated treatment for children with autism and the only intervention endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatrics, the New York State Department of Health, and the United States Surgeon General.
Bridging the gap between research and practice, Rethink Autism is a first-of-its-kind online program. According to Dr. Fred Volkmar, Director of the Yale Child Study Center, “the explosion of research in autism has not always resulted in translation into work with children at home and in schools. I’m pleased that Rethink Autism is attempting to address this need by bringing research-based treatments into the lives of children with autism.”
At the core of Rethink Autism’s services is a comprehensive, video-based curriculum including hundreds of exercises and training modules based on proven, scientifically-validated teaching techniques. The site’s innovative assessment tools help parents and professionals design individualized programming to meet each child’s learning goals, while state-of-the-art data-tracking systems allow users to track the learner’s progress.
The lessons target a comprehensive range of skills in critical developmental areas and address the core challenges of autism: language and motor skills, social and emotional learning, play and leisure, daily living and problem behavior. “Never before has such a comprehensive video library of teaching programs been available to parents and professionals,” said Dr. Bridget Taylor, Executive Director of the Alpine Learning Group.
Rethink Autism aspires to meet the immediate needs of the growing population affected by autism. “Across the country, families pin their hopes on a handful of specialized educational centers with ever-growing waiting lists,” said Rethink Autism’s CEO, Daniel Etra. “Research shows that the most effective treatment for children with autism is early intervention. The months and years those families spend waiting for school placements is time that could be invested in their futures. Rethink Autism provides an immediate and affordable solution by showing parents how to help their children now, not later.”
The Service
Parents, teachers, and organizations will access subscription services through the Rethink Autism website. By answering a series of questions, new users can immediately begin customizing a curriculum for their child by determining which of the hundreds of available lessons will best meet the learner’s specific needs. Users can then watch the video lessons, use the techniques in sessions with their own child, and track the child’s progress online. As the child progresses through the programs, the website will recommend new lessons to maximize the learning process. A professional support team will be available to answer users’ questions by email and offer suggestions for making the most of Rethink Autism’s resources.
Making the Best Methods Affordable and Accessible
While ABA is the best known method for treating children with autism, practitioners and schools cannot always bring ABA to each and every child who might benefit from it. For approximately the cost of a single hour of individual therapy by a certified professional, Rethink Autism offers its monthly subscribers around the globe centralized access to the resources necessary to begin working with a child immediately. Rethink Autism’s platform empowers parents and professionals to be more effective at home, in school, and in the community at a fraction of the cost.
About Rethink Autism
Rethink Autism, Inc. seeks to ensure that every child on the autism spectrum has access to effective and affordable ABA-based treatment. The company was founded in 2007, and has its headquarters at 19 West 21st Street in New York City.
Invincible: Mourning the Passing of Farrah Fawcett
by admin on June 25, 2009
in legendary women
I heard this news today and to my surprise, it saddened me, but I didn’t understand why exactly. I don’t care a whit for celebrities . So I took a trip down memory lane and what I can recall of Farrah Fawcett.
I was about 10 or 11 when “Charlie’s Angels” was on, and Farrah in many ways defined that show. (CNN reported she was only on it for one season - can that be right?). When I watched it as a kid, I saw nothing wrong with it, nor did my parents. Just 3 women who were smart and good looking, and could kick some ass when needed. (Yes my parents let me watch it, it was the 70s, remember? Before seatbelts and bike helmets?) As a teenager, I would think the show was sexist, mainly because the most exposure I got to it was in any boy’s room or basement. Teenage boys lined their walls with various Angels, but Farrah seemed to be the favorite. And the whole Charlie dynamic was kind of creepy.
The next thing I remember of Farrah is “The Burning Bed” and a few years later, “Extremities”. Farrah stepped out of her beautiful shell and played complicated women, as I myself was becoming a woman, and I’ve been called much crueler things than “complicated”. It made me look at her differently, and as I look over the list of films she’s made (most I’ve never heard of), it looks like she didn’t shy away from these kinds of roles. I liked her in those two movies, and I was surprised that she was in “The Apostle” with film legend Robert Duvall (that’s on my “to see” list of movies, which is very very long.)
Then came the cancer and she became an icon for something else: a cancer victim with a human face, an advocate for care and dignity.
Now she has passed, and when I look back at what she meant to me, I see a woman who rose up past being a beautiful star to a person who put herself out there and on the line during her time of great suffering and quest for healing. She shared with us her story and didn’t hide herself away as she deteriorated.
I wish her family and friends peace and comfort. I hope she’s in a better place. Farrah, rest in peace.
Book Review: “If You Give a Mom a Martini…”
As a hectic, overworked, entrepreneurial, special needs mom, it’s really hard to find 10 minutes of free time just for me. Sometimes I look at kiddie stain on my shirt, or my bra that the dog chewed up, or at my face on a particularly bad hair day, and wonder where the fabulous woman I used to be went.
That’s why I really love “If You Give a Mom a Martini: 100 Ways to Find 10 Blissful Minutes for Yourself
Fix a drink. Steal a quickie. Leave the kids with your hubby in the mall and get one of those 10 minute massages.
Or, take “If You Give a Mom a Martini” to the bathroom and spend 10 minutes plotting your next escape.
I enjoyed this really fun book, and it’s small and gorgeous too. Makes a lovely gift, I think. Perfect for a baby shower for the 2nd child!
If you are a hectic, harried, fabulous mom, check out “If You Give a Mom a Martini. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
Divalysscious Tips on How to be a Mommy and an Entrepreneur
by admin on June 23, 2009
in motherhood, work at home moms, working moms
This week, Mom-Blog is thrilled and proud to present its first guest post. New York City mom Lyss Stern is the founder of Divalysscious Moms, which was born to bridge the gap between a glam, pre-baby lifestyle and a post-baby life where, well, let’s just say there are more midnight feedings than midnight soirées. Rather than toss aside her beloved stilettos for strollers, Lyss embraced them both and created a company that keeps the party going (except at nap time). Lyss has also co-authored “If You Give a Mom a Martini: 100 Ways to Find 10 Blissful Minutes for Yourself” with Julie Klappas.
As the owner of Divalysscious Moms, (www.divalyssciousmoms.com), a luxury lifestyle company for mothers and families, and the mother of two young children, (Oliver is 20 months, and Jackson is five years old), I am frequently asked how I balance motherhood and owning/operating my own business especially during the summer months. While every successful mother and business owner has her own recipe with ingredients that work for her as an individual, some tips that I like to give other mothers that are in similar situations are the “Divalysscious Tips”, and the ingredients that work for my “Mommy Entrepreneur Recipe For Organization During The Summer.” Working during the summer months can be a challenge for any mom but with a little bit of ingenuity and being intentional about making time for fun, you can have a great summer with your kids.
Here are my “Divalysscious Tips on How to be a Mommy and an Entrepreneur (the Key Ingredient is Organization)” for owning your own business and being mother of children under the age of five.
1. Your Children Come First. That means that any email and phone call can and will come after the children are happy and settled in. With today’s technology, it seems that everything is urgent; however your children’s well being comes first. Most importantly, your children need to feel secure. Keep the children busy outside, playing, running around and or swimming in a pool. Once your children are “tired” out, you will have more time to get your work accomplished. Plan a fun family trip, it can be to the local pool and or beach. You must make time for your children during the summer months.
2. Prioritize. Make sure that your work can be done early in the morning before the children wake up. Yes, that means sometimes waking up at 4:30am to finish work… of course you will need a large cup of coffee! Get a laptop, so that you can work from the beach, pool and or your backyard. It’s important that your children see you during the summer days. Try to do work at night after the children are sleeping. Set goals for your business, family and yourself. Balance is extremely important.
3. Have a routine. Having breakfast with the children and taking my older son to the camp bus in the morning are crucial aspects of my daily life during the summer. Dinner, bath time, and bedtime are also extremely important for my children and for me. I try my best to put down the blackberry, and eat with the children, bathe them, read to them, and spend quality time with them before bed. After my boys are sleeping, I know that I can go back on the computer to finish up my work.
4. Have a “Mommy Time Out”. Moms that run their own businesses also need to take a few minutes out of their busy day for themselves. I have a strong philosophy that if mom isn’t happy then the children won’t be happy, and with running your own business, at many times things can be stressful. Take ten minutes to meditate, get a quick ten minute back massage at the local nail salon, look through a magazine, or even take ten minutes to make a phone call to a friend, completely unrelated to work, just to say hi. This time will rejuvenate you and allow you a much needed break.
5. Delegate. Always remember that being a mom and a business owner gives you the right to delegate the work, which means surrounding yourself with a great supportive team comprised of positive people who have high energy. Make sure these are people that you can trust, and people that can help you. My husband is my biggest supporter, at times he has to help with the children because I might need to be at a meeting, have to work late, etc… I know that I can count on my husband and vice versa for him, as he too, has a high demanding job. Delegate the errands with your family, care giver, and do not be afraid to ask for help! It’s always better to ask, then to be completely overwhelmed.
Review: Jack’s Notebook by Gregg Fraley
A few weeks ago, I received a book called “Jack’s Notebook” by author Gregg Fraley. “Jack’s Notebook: A business novel about creative problem solving
It was the perfect book to send me because I love experimental books (like Italo Calvino’s “If on a Winter’s Night a Traveller”) and I am going through a decision phase right now with my business and writing enterprises. It is a pretty quick and easy read, and a lot better than most of the business books I’ve tried and failed to read, which is just about all of them. They are simply too dry for a gal who likes action and emotion, all in one.
Each chapter of the book starts off with two paragraphs that tell you a bit about the process and what phase of CPS the main character, Jack, will be going through. Jack himself is definitely a character that I could have related to when I, too, was stuck in a boring job that didn’t use my talents and skills. He’s likable and you feel a bit sorry for him. Some dynamic characters enter, though, and it’s not long before Jack is out of his doldrums, falling in love, and creating a fantastic life for himself.
In fact, before I knew it, his business problems were all solved. I was stumped as to where this was going. (I like being stumped when reading because it rarely happens.) That’s the point at which it turns into an action-adventure novel. I was completely surprised, and the cast of characters employs the principles of CPS repeatedly to come up with a MacGuver-esque solution to the dilemma. (And if you don’t know who MacGuver is, you may be too young to read this blog!)
When you’re done with the novel, there is a complete reference guide to CPS at the back of the book. Nothing long, boring, and dried out; just the tools you need to pursue CPS on your own. What I liked about learning about CPS is that it’s easy, it’s practical, and not only can it solve business problems, it can of course solve creative problems. Being a designer and writer, that is a major concern for me. “Jack’s Notebook
Learn more about Gregg Fraley at his blog.
A Special Needs Mom Looks Back at First Year of School
by admin on June 18, 2009
in autism spectrum disorder, down syndrome, learning disabilities, mosaic down syndrome, motherhood, special needs
This Wednesday was the last day of school “first years” for both my daughters. Zoe completed her first year of preschool and Amelia finished her first year of “real” school (kindergartne). As I drove Amelia home from her last day yesterday, tears in my eyes, I realized how entirely naive I had been about her disability, and how I have reached another level of acceptance right then in that car ride.
In September, I barely noticed the gap between her and her peers. Why were they only scheduling her to count to 30? (She made it to 15, and one to one is still stuck around 5.) Why were they not doing kid writing with her? (She can write most of the letters, some in both cases, but not words yet.) Why weren’t they pushing her spelling skills? (She’s actually pretty good with letters and the alphabet; they solidly taught this to her.)
I’ve been assured that she’s ready for the first grade, but there is a doubt in my heart that they are saying that because we pushed so hard in her August IEP. She is pre-registered for a charter school - full inclusion, first year it’s open - but I’m not sure if it’s not better to put her in an instructional learning situation with her peers.
I’m way too new at this, but there is a part of me that knows she will be ok. I just look at her sometimes, ya know, and marvel at God’s handiwork. Oh Lord, I’m crying as I write this.
Don’t think I don’t feel this same way about Zoe, who made great strides this year. From 2 words, she has what now? 30? Today sitting on my belly she said a new word, “padcake”, which means “pat-a-cake”, which she LOVES. The new TSS is working out lovely, and Amelia today had her evaluation. I brought her and guess what? I LOVED the psychologist. He was AWESOME. He treated her like a kid, even as we discussed the difficulties particular to Down syndrome. Didn’t condescend. Didn’t label (she does NOT have ODD). Didn’t go remotely near anything topic like “medication”. Said even some of her speech patterns were seen in typically developing 6 year olds. Thought she was a regular kid, with some learning difficulties, no biggie.
My hope, my prayer, my fondest wish for my children is that they can grow up in a world where everyone treats them like that. I know, that’s a wish I don’t even get. Everyone on this planet is judged in age, race, sex, gender, sexual orientation, and a million other things they were born with every day. But I hope that there are times, days, places and people that will give them a breather from that sometimes.
Can I just say how gosh-darn proud I am of my two little angels?
Sunday Helper: “Building Bridges for Down Syndrome” Conference
by admin on June 14, 2009
in down syndrome, mosaic down syndrome
Today’s Sunday Helper is a press release about a conference being held in Ohio this July. If you are a parent of a child with Down syndrome, or a professional interested in Down syndrome, and will be available in Sharonville, OH on July 10-12, please consider attending.
Building Bridges for Down Syndrome” 4th Biennial Research & Awareness Conference 2009
Parents of children with Down syndrome (DS) are universally concerned about the wellbeing of their child’s health, development, future, and connecting with other DS families. The Down Syndrome Association of Greater Cincinnati (DSAGC) hosts “Building Bridges for Down Syndrome” the fourth Biennial Research & Awareness Conference presented by the International Mosaic Down Syndrome Association. (IMDSA) This international event will be held at the Sheraton Cincinnati North Hotel and Indoor Water Resort in Sharonville, Ohio on July 10-12.
This conference will provide a wealth of information and networking for families and professionals interested in all forms of Down syndrome. The event will kick off on Friday morning, July 10th with a unique opportunity for families and researchers to come together and participate in various research studies pertaining to Ds and mosaic Down syndrome (mDs). A special meeting for Down Syndrome Association Board Members throughout the world will take place to help these individuals with their organization’s fundraising endeavors. Following the day’s events, IMDSA’s Friday Night Family Reunion and Silent Auction will be open for all the families and professionals to attend. Craft activities will be available for the children with entertainment from The Amazing Portable Circus and world-renowned, self-advocate Sujeet Desai. Teens and Adults will have the opportunity to play many exciting games and everyone will have the opportunity to bid on a wide variety of items in the Silent Auction which will benefit IMDSA’s Outreach Program.
On Saturday, July 11th conference workshops will begin with Keynote speakers, self-advocate/Author, Connor Gifford and Congresswoman Cathy McMorris Rogers who also has a son with DS. Breakout sessions will follow throughout the weekend with over 30 of the nation’s leading Down syndrome experts as well as others from abroad. Teens and Adults with DS (and siblings) will have the opportunity to learn a wide variety of topics from budgeting and relationships to Tae Kwon Do and Art with 20 interactive workshops throughout the weekend to choose from. Children ages 2-12 with DS and siblings will not be left out of the fun and learning. Children will be divided into 3 age groups and will be supervised by students in IMDSA’s Student Learning Program. This program allows university students interested in a career that serves those with Ds the opportunity to learn what their text books do not teach them about Down syndrome. While the children are supervised by the students a variety of presenters will offer fun and learning activities from Tumblebus and Karate to Stranger Danger and Dealing with Bullies. Saturday evening the Awards and Celebration Banquet will offer a fun and information from keynotes Comedian and father of two children with DS, Dan Kulp and self-advocate Jennifer Katz and her husband Ted. A dance will follow the evening events.
For more information and how to register for this event visit www.imdsa.org or call IMDSA at 888-MDS-LINK or DSAGC at 513-761-5400.
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About IMDSA: International Mosaic Down Syndrome Association (IMDSA) is designed to provide support, information, and research to any family, individual, or professional whose life has been affected by mosaic Down syndrome.
Mom-Blog’s First Giveaway!
CONTEST IS CLOSED
I’m so very thrilled to have this opportunity to offer you Mom-Blog’s very first giveaway! This giveaway is sponsored by AllChildrensFurniture.com, who sells lots of beautiful and stylish kids bedroom furniture but also carry a fantastic assortment of really nice toys. I spent a long time on their site just kicking some great products that I know my kids love: Melissa & Doug, puzzles, puppets, dress up. It was overwhelming, and I was a kid in a - well - toy store.
Are you ready to see the fantastic gift selected for this giveaway?
Little Tikes - Sand & Water Fun Factory Table
The ideal summer gift! This multi-station factory has gears, gadgets, funnels, and cogs. It also has a drop down lid to keep the toys and sand safely inside. Features include:
* Multicolored
* Includes water scoop, rake / shovel, car ramp, boat and front end loader
* Gears and gadgets, funnels and cogs make for hours of sand and water play
* Drop down lids protect sand and toys from the elements and animals
* Raised design helps kids stay clean
* Fabric sun shade canopy offers protection from sun
* 2008 iParenting Media Awards
* 2008 Parent’s Choice Award
For ages 2-6.
I know that if my kids had this gem of a toy, they would spend their whole day outside and I’d never have to worry about running after them!
To Enter:
Subscribe to my RSS feed and comment on this post (of course I’ll need your email!)
You can also earn TWO additional entries by:
- Twitter or retweet about this contest and comment here with your Twitter comment. Please post your tweet in comments!
- Blog about this giveaway and comment here. Make sure you link your blog here (good for your rankings too!)
Entries MUST be received by June 26th, 2009, at which point I will close comments. I will pick a winner at random on June 27th and immediately notify the winner and the company. You MUST comment all that you do for entries, and please pass it on.
NOTE: I will be on vacation starting on 4th of July for one week, so please contact me as soon as you can to get your prize early!
Good luck, and special thanks to Khara for helping me set this up!
